Suzan Bond

Last weekend I did something daring. Something scary.

I participated in a spelling bee.

It was the first time since second grade I had entered one. Being a word nerd and having somewhat of a sixth sense with spelling, I  was so excited for my first spelling bee. I even wore my favorite shirt. And…I was out in the second round on minute. Not the measurement of time, the measurement of size.  Oh, the English language is vexing.
 
I never spelled in public again.

Or wore that shirt. Fearing it to be my spelling kryptonite, I threw it away. 
 
This weekend I jumped up on stage at an adult spelling bee and did something I swore I'd never do again. Submit myself to public humiliation by mis-spelling words.  It may have been liquid courage that I gained from that half glass of wine I drank before it. Or, that I had no idea why I was jumping on stage except that my friend Terry Cabeen, the MC, asked for 4 people to join him. Nonetheless, there I was in the limelight. Competing in a lightning round with the winner being crowned for spelling the most words correct in 90 seconds. And I won.

Now I get to have a delicious, decadent dinner at this place.

I'm not sure the reason for this post is much more than a big old victory lap for my second grade loss but since this is a blog, I feel compelled to have a moral. Here it is.

Let go of the past.

Be here now.

And? Always jump on stage whenever they ask for volunteers. You never know what you might win.

My dad is an engineer which means he likes to make sure things are perfect. If he could take a side angle to my life to make sure it was perfectly aligned I'm sure he would. So of course, he loves to come up with tidy little aphorisms for his kids. I got this one recently in my birthday card:

It's always darkest before the dawn

While I'm sure he wasn't the originator of this saying, he did popularize it–at least for me. It's a great reminder that sometimes when things are at their breaking point it actually means a transformation is around the corner. Sometimes when things aren't working out as you planned something even better is in store. Like when clients aren't coming in as fast as you wanted but the bills are still due. Or when a situation is breaking down so rapidly that it's clear there isn't a way to save it. I used to dread these. Now I just remind myself that it can get really, really dark just before really good stuff happens.

I'm generally a pretty organized person. A place for everything and everything in its place definitely describes my philosophy. Organized by sleeve length and then by color my closet looks like the stores I used to work in back in my retail days. And I de-clutter on a regular basis in part because organizing relaxes me.

My life was pretty simple but I longed for even more. It lead me to Leo Babauta's new book, The Power of Less. He advocates that you start to simplify one habit at a time.  I've already been doing many of the things on his list except for one glaring omission.

Process your inbox to zero.

This is a tough one for this never-want-to-miss-anything, information sponge connector. It's left me constantly fighting with my inbox. I selected it because it's the #1 tangible thing I complain about most and because it would have a BIG impact in simplifying my life. So I decided to take his 30 Day Power of Less Challenge which means I agreed to Process my inbox to zero daily. Yep, as in everyday.

I am gonna own you inbox!

I've done a few things already to help me win this battle.

• Unnecessary email subscriptions about the latest sales, etc. have been canceled.
• Using HighRise and BaseCamp on a couple of projects so that's definitely helping to keep my to dos and tasks in one place.
• Serendipitously this post from Amber Naslund arrived in my inbox this morning. (It been read AND filed). She uses Gmail features extensively and it's something I'll check out.

How do you quickly and effectively manage YOUR inbox?

I leave for my first SXSW Interactive experience on Friday. I've been madly RSVPing, organizing and making sure I have everything covered and planned. Then my dear friend and veteran SXSWer Tara pointed out what's obvious in hindsight.

You can't plan.

You can't see everything and meet every person there.

It's impossible.

Give it up sister.
 
This woman is seriously wise. It reminded me of a lesson I learned while in Marrakech.

You can't control chaos. The Medina where all the souks (shops) are located is a confusing mess of zig zag, crooked streets. A map is useless. I gave mine up on my first afternoon allowing myself to be thrust into the chaos, trusting that I'd get where I needed to go–wherever that was. I let go of control and let the Moroccan culture reveal what it wanted to me. One of these revelations was a young artist named Benjou who I spent several afternoons with learning Arabic and him practicing his English while sipping mint tea. One of my best memories ever on a trip, it wouldn't have happened with a map stuck in my face.

I try to remember this every time I try to over-plan, over-control, over anything in my world. As I embark on my first SXSW adventure here's what I'm keeping in mind.

There is chaos.

I just have to trust it and…
 
Enjoy the ride.

That's my mantra for chaos that is a major event like SXSW. How do YOU handle uncontrollably chaotic situations where "maps" don't work?

Resolutions became extinct for me a number of years ago. I got tired of laying out sky high goals in a NYE champagne induced fever. That never worked out. Shocked right? Instead I started doing a Theme for the year. This set my intention and focused me without setting unattainable resolutions that only served to make me feel worse about myself when I didn’t reach them.

Please understand. I’m not criticizing you if you make resolutions. I know they work for some people. It’s just that through my work as an Org/Biz Strategist and Executive Coach I’ve spent a lot of time helping people create intentions and set goals. I’ve watched lots (I mean crowds) of people fail at this. In order to reach your goals you need to follow the SMART rule: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-boxed. This is when resolutions are most effective. But what if you want to create a more encompassing transformation? This is where setting a Theme (or Word) for the year works far better.

How does setting a Theme work?

I think back about the previous year–what I’ve transformed and what I’m still longing for. I then come up with a few words that articulate the transformation I’m looking for in the coming year. Usually I start with a couple and then one emerges as the clear winner. Let me give you some examples to illustrate this a bit better. Here are a few of the words I chose for the past year.

2005: Money (self-explanatory)

2oo6: Grown-up (also pretty explanatory)

2007: Love (self and otherwise)

2008: Focus (how I used my energy, thoughts & time)

2009: Freedom

2010: Align

Photo Note: The sign in the photo was made by a dear friend who wanted to give me a reminder of my align theme last year. I highly recommend reminders of the visual and other sort.

Doing a Theme for the year has allowed me to create amazing experiences and growth. When I look back at each year I am amazing and all the transformation. It feels good.

Repeat after me. Themes, not Resolutions. Ready, Set…Transform!

Prompt: Photo – a present to yourself. Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

This photo was taken during a girl’s night out. It was a beautiful, warm and lots of fun. The camera on my Evo takes great photos but has trouble in dark situations. So, I decided to play with the new retro app I downloaded from the Droid store. I prefer to be behind the camera and rarely love any photos of me. This is my favorite of 2010 because…

1. It was taken by my dear friend Kit.

2. I *love* retro style things: photos, clothes, pretty baubles…if it’s vintage I’m pretty much gonna like it.

3. This photo reminds me of a very fun night with some of my favorite women:

• Cali Harris (one of the creators of Reverb 10)

• Kit who happens to be the co-owner of Atlas Purveyors one of my favorite coffee/tea shops
• The always hysterical Tiffany Sosa and…
• Miss Kate Brown, the fabulous Community Director for Daily Burn.

4. It captures in my essence. This is a very rare event. Kinda like seeing double rainbow. I usually make strange faces so my eyes look kinda freaky in photos. So the fact that my essence comes through is pretty special. It reminds me of my favorite saying. OK, I found it on a perfume ad but the message is solid & a good reminder…

All You Have To Be Is You

Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

I love food. I mean really love food. Really good food. One of my good friends says that I can’t be a foodie because I don’t cook. So I call myself a foodette–a mini foodie. I’m a hedonist by nature. I love all that decadent stuff. Dark chocolate. Nice wine. Margaritas. Bread. Cheese. Pretty much anything that turns into sugar–rapidly. The problem? Hypoglycemia. I crave sugar and anything that can mimic it. Unfortunately it’s just about the worst thing I can put into my body. Sugar in any sort of collected amount is pretty much tantamount to poisoning myself. Heaping it on (as I enjoy doing immensely) puts my body on a roller-coaster of highs and lows. Eating even a pretty healthy for Americans diet gave me a steady dose of sugar. And a steady dose = poor immune system, lots of colds, low energy and the ability to from zero to cranky in 30 seconds. Diagnosed with this chronic condition 20 years ago I’ve been aware of the side effects of this life style and have tried to manage it. With pretty much no degree of success.

This year I decided to try something radical. Cut out the sugar. Completely. Indefinitely. Welcome the Paleo Plan. Yes, yes–it’s based on what our caveman ancestors ate. Meat, nuts, fruits, vegetables. And 4 glasses of wine a week. Insert your jokes here but how wine and almond butter didn’t exist then. Really the diet is anti-sugar. It’s about getting off the juice as I call it.

The 1st two weeks were a nightmare.

There were times when I just wanted to have some sugar intravenously pumped into me. When you needed to tie me to the bed sheets like an addict getting off the goods. It was one of the toughest things I’ve ever done physically. It requires commitment. Will power. Focus. And…a big reason WHY you’re doing it. For me, being in a bikini on a beach wasn’t a big enough WHY but feeling consistent energy and being well definitely was. Along the way I got support from my friend Tara who’s done the Paleo Plan a few times and from my other dear friend Kate Brown, the Community Director of Daily Burn. I wished I’d known about this blog.

I am still working on walking the anti-sugar way.  The more I eliminate sugar the more I heal and the better I feel. I continue to follow that old adage…You can’t eat an elephant in one bite…although I wouldn’t mind eating the whole thing at once. I am a foodette ya know.

Well hello again. Long time no…blog?? Did ya miss me? I missed you! Last week I spent a few days in New York visiting a dear friend. It was a fun  few days of madcap pace and folly’s–like running through Times Square–late to see Billy Elliot shrieking “Will run for theatre!” (Yep. True Story.) After that I slowed waaaaay down in the Bahamas on Exuma Island where I’ll be until just before the New Year.

11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

#1 Drama (Especially other people’s drama.) Don’t want it. Don’t need it. Done with it.

#2 Clutter (Physical, mental…even social)

#3 Believing I can’t do (insert anything here)

#4 Sugar (Time to get rid of this…again)

#5 Doing the same things over and over again (Let this be a year of 1sts!)

#6 Being just a wee bit late (Sure it’s usually only 5 minutes but still)

#7 An overflowing inbox

#8 I forget what 8 was for but 9, 9…

#9 Thinking travel is too expensive & I don’t have time (More travel in 2011. And maybe, one day I’ll be a vagabond for a while like Andrew Hyde)

#10 Worrying about not being a true artist/writer/creative (and just create!)

#11 ______________________

I feel like those are the biggies that quickly spring to mind. I’m sure there are at least a couple of other things I just don’t need. What would you suggest as the 11th thing I don’t need in my life in 2011?

Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

2010 began for me with a relatively small community in my new city of Boulder. I had always wished to more. It quickly grew. In the past year I’ve discovered community with…

- The tech startup world of Boulder. I’d been out of that world for a while and it welcome surprise to find out that it still resonated and felt like home.

- Twitterers. I started following just a few and now have more than 700 (and growing) kindred spirits who enlighten, educate and entertain me daily.

- Boulder. Very livable city, great people, near the mountains. Enough said.

- The local fire community. I found this community by trying to support a dear friend during the massive Boulder Fire.  I’ve met incredible people who volunteer their time to fight fires and helped co-found an organization that raises money to support them.

- The dearest friends ever. Although I’ve lived in 5 cities, this is the place where I feel like I have the deepest and most connections I’ve ever had. Including Cali, the author of this prompt.

- Riders. As a baby snowboarder, they took me to the slopes and forced me to challenge myself–bringing out an inner athlete I didn’t know I had.

- Igniters. Geeky presentations that auto-advance every 15 seconds? I’m there. I was lucky enough to be able to speak at Ignite 10 & happily cheer on anyone with courage to speak in front of more than 900 people. If you have the chance–do it.

- My family. This year I really discovered how much I really love my family. How much I am like them. I’m very happy about that. My “other” family in Boulder is Atlas Purveyors. If you want to know where I am most days look here first. They not only know my name…they know my drink.

- Writers. Writing made a BIG comeback for me in 2010. Friends who are writers, 750words.com and Reverb 10 have provided a great home for this revival.

So those are (some) of my peeps. In the past I’ve had this habit of thinking that no one understands me. That I’m too unique. (A throwback from my tortured teenage days) If you hear this from me I give you full permission to put this post in my face as a reminder.

Yeah–I’d say I discovered Community with a capital C in 2010. Turns out it was pretty easy for me. This is a pretty big deal for someone who was convinced they never fit it. So, so, so looking forward to the deepening of this community and the new ones I create in 2011–especially with other tech entrepreneurs.

Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I once did a high ropes course many feet in the air. Climbing rickety, swinging ladders made out of rope? No problem. Dancing on a wire 30 feet in the air? Piece o’ cake. Then I hit the last part of the course. All I had to do was get on a swing and let go. I sat there for 15 minutes. Petrified. Totally white knuckling it. Yeah. I’d say letting go was not my strong suit.

Since that moment 8 years ago, letting go has become much easier. I’ve let go again and again. One of the biggest things I let go of this year was O.P.P.  Something I fondly refer to as Other People’s Problems.

You may think this something easy to do. Not for this trained coach and ultimate people person. I’ve spent my life cleaning up the messes of other people. Sometimes asked, other times–well you know the rest of that sentence.

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(It’s) like I’ve got a shotgun in my mouth, with my finger on the trigger, and I like the taste of gun metal. Robert Downey Jr. after one of his many arrests

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Although he’s talking his drug addiction, I think many of us can relate to things we know are bad for us but we just can’t seem to stop. Mine? Helping people I perceived to be in trouble.

I’ve watched friends struggle over the years with bad choices. Bad relationships–with jobs that were toxic for them as well as the usual romantic ones.  I’ve sat side by side with clients who just couldn’t seem to pull it off (whatever they’re working on) despite years of work together. Despite trying, it seems they liked the struggle more than the absence of what ever was their personal albatross. Despite their troubles I just couldn’t stop supporting them. It used to make me work harder to help them. Then it made me sad. Then I just stopped. I simply let go.

I realized that I had to let go of helping others let go.  Ironic isn’t it?  It became uber clear: Sometimes you have to let others live their own life path. Actually, you pretty much always do. It was confusing and tough at times letting go of own personal taste of gun metal in helping others. But I did it. Turns out I like the absence of it better.

I still support my friends & clients through tough times. It’s pretty much in my DNA. Always has been. Will likely always be a a part of me. But now–I know when to stop and let them follow their own unique path. Who’s to say it’s bad for them or that it isn’t perfect just as it is? Now helping others when they’re having a rough day is the proverbial cherry. Not the cake.

So now I focus on me and making my life what I want it to be. Much better.