Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

reverb10story Reverb 10: Let GoI once did a high ropes course many feet in the air. Climbing rickety, swinging ladders made out of rope? No problem. Dancing on a wire 30 feet in the air? Piece o’ cake. Then I hit the last part of the course. All I had to do was get on a swing and let go. I sat there for 15 minutes. Petrified. Totally white knuckling it. Yeah. I’d say letting go was not my strong suit.

Since that moment 8 years ago, letting go has become much easier. I’ve let go again and again. One of the biggest things I let go of this year was O.P.P.  Something I fondly refer to as Other People’s Problems.

You may think this something easy to do. Not for this trained coach and ultimate people person. I’ve spent my life cleaning up the messes of other people. Sometimes asked, other times–well you know the rest of that sentence.

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1245262 shotgun 2 150x150 Reverb 10: Let Go

(It’s) like I’ve got a shotgun in my mouth, with my finger on the trigger, and I like the taste of gun metal. Robert Downey Jr. after one of his many arrests

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Although he’s talking his drug addiction, I think many of us can relate to things we know are bad for us but we just can’t seem to stop. Mine? Helping people I perceived to be in trouble.

I’ve watched friends struggle over the years with bad choices. Bad relationships–with jobs that were toxic for them as well as the usual romantic ones.  I’ve sat side by side with clients who just couldn’t seem to pull it off (whatever they’re working on) despite years of work together. Despite trying, it seems they liked the struggle more than the absence of what ever was their personal albatross. Despite their troubles I just couldn’t stop supporting them. It used to make me work harder to help them. Then it made me sad. Then I just stopped. I simply let go.

I realized that I had to let go o1209407 stop Reverb 10: Let Gof helping others let go.  Ironic isn’t it?  It became uber clear: Sometimes you have to let others live their own life path. Actually, you pretty much always do. It was confusing and tough at times letting go of own personal taste of gun metal in helping others. But I did it. Turns out I like the absence of it better.

I still support my friends & clients through tough times. It’s pretty much in my DNA. Always has been. Will likely always be a a part of me. But now–I know when to stop and let them follow their own unique path. Who’s to say it’s bad for them or that it isn’t perfect just as it is? Now helping others when they’re having a rough day is the proverbial cherry. Not the cake.1184732 cherry 150x150 Reverb 10: Let Go

So now I focus on me and making my life what I want it to be. Much better.

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7 Responses to “Reverb 10: Let Go”

  1. Christy DeArment Martin December 6, 2010 at 10:12 pm #

    Hi Suzan,
    Very nice! Glad that You’ve let go of helping others. I’ve done the same myself. Also, how nice to let go of perceiving problems for others too. It’s always nice to have friends seeing solutions and supporting You in finding your own solutions. Rather than making problems bigger. Thanks for the post. Christy

  2. Grace Boyle December 6, 2010 at 10:21 pm #

    I resonate with this.

    And it can be completely suffocating. I think I still struggle with this, but more than ever, I am able to step away and separate from other friends’ problems. The biggest thing is that I’m so empathetic and I begin to really feel and take on that person’s problems as my own. That is supremely unhealthy and ironically, I used to get a lot more sick. This year, not sick once. Not even a cold.

    It is amazing to hear you have learned to let this go. It’s as though you can spread your wings and focus on the nurturing part of yourself.

  3. Cali @caligater December 6, 2010 at 10:28 pm #

    Wow. This is powerful stuff, Suzan. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Suzan December 6, 2010 at 10:29 pm #

    Thanks for the support Christy. It feels so good!

    Grace–I so get you about the empathic thing. It’s such a gift–especially now that I know how to use it and separate my feelings from those of others. And that is so powerful what you said about your health. Although I knew that taking good care of myself was powerful for my well-being & health. I don’t think I’d made the connection with this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  5. Suzan December 7, 2010 at 7:04 am #

    Thanks for the support Cali and everyone. This was such a vulnerable, revealing post for me. All the love is smashing. The proverbial cherry ;o)

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Tweets that mention Reverb 10: Let Go | Suzan's Blog -- Topsy.com - December 6, 2010

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tracy De Cicco, Suzan Bond. Suzan Bond said: Just posted my letting go piece for @reverb10. Whew. That was a tough one. http://bit.ly/dJygL8 #reverb10 [...]

  2. You Will Never Be Good Enough For At Least One Person | Suzan Bond - May 12, 2013

    [...] And their opinion of you is probably much more about them rather than about you. OPO is similar to Other People's Problems (OPP)  You have no control over either and so your only the sane choice is to let them go. Now [...]

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